


where my armour ends, where my skin begins

by leov66



Series: until you break, until you yield [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: M/M, bom! keith and black paladin! shiro, implied mild sexual content, set 4/5 years after canon events, this takes place a few hours before 'you taught me the courage of the stars' jsyk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-16
Updated: 2017-11-16
Packaged: 2019-02-03 09:15:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12745404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leov66/pseuds/leov66
Summary: “We can’t keep saying this forever,” Keith sighs before turning to the side and pressing his back against Shiro. “It’s just not okay, you know?”“I know, trust me, I know,” he replies and the truth that should set them free only makes everything ten times worse.it feels like Keith leaving doesn't get easier with time. (companion piece toyou taught me the courage of the stars)





	where my armour ends, where my skin begins

**Author's Note:**

> my tumblr is [@euphra-sie](https://euphra-sie.tumblr.com) and you should really hmu
> 
> i said id write sheith and i really did ! anyway i love this concept so bear with me (shrug emoji)

Shiro wakes up before the alarm blares. The room’s gone colder than usual, and he wishes he could see the sun - _a sun_ , he reminds himself like he always has to, the universe’s too big for there to only be one sun. Carefully, he shuffles closer to Keith, who’s luckily fast asleep, kisses his forehead and sighs. If the morning light shone through the window (if there was any, that is), he’d see the pale skin, radiating warmth against his cold arm, the love bites, the bruises and the scars, but it’s almost pitch black and all he can do is make out the vague shape of his lover’s body in the darkness.

 

It’s tiring, that life of theirs. He hasn’t seen a sunset - a true sunset, not a light mirage caused by one of Allura’s crystals, not a photo, the real vivid reds and oranges bleeding onto each other and fading over the horizon - in almost six years now, for the single exception of that morning they got back on Earth, before Voltron, before _everything_. He’s grown weary; the time hasn’t broken him, but it took away something that could never be replaced.

 

He looks at Keith again, and he’s once again overwhelmed with how much he’d sacrifice for the little content smile to remain on that beautiful face.

 

The universe, or _this_ , and he would pick _this_ all over again. Back in the Garrison, it was all about saving the world or whatever bullshit they used to feed them, but he’s no longer a kid full of dreams. That was the Shiro who looked in the stars and saw a bright future, not the one who’s lived amongst them for years and only wants to return home if he could speak of one after so much time. Now, his bones are tired, his eyes are tired, his soul is tired, and it’s the love he had to lose, _twice_ , that makes him want to defend this godforsaken universe until his last breath.

 

“It’s too early,” Keith murmurs against his chest and wraps his arms around him (sometimes it’s the only way for him to fall asleep at peace, and Shiro treasures those moments more than any other). His voice’s all sleepy and raspy, but it’s just so _Keith_ that Shiro’s heart might not take it.

 

“I know, go back to sleep,” he says in reply and buries his face in Keith’s hair. It’s still a bit wet from the shower, and the whole thing is so painfully domestic that it almost feels like they could just go get some coffee and walk their dogs in the park.

 

 _Almost_ ’s the keyword. In less than - he squints his eyes to make out the numbers on the clock - five vargas, Keith will be gone again, galaxies away, “not for _that_ long, Paladin, do not fret”, according to Kolivan, which probably means one hell of a long time and Shiro will stay right where he is, with that overwhelming smell all over the bed and just the slightest bit too much time to think.

 

“I’ll sleep after, on the ship.” Keith’s little smile tugs at just the right heartstrings and Shiro can’t help but reciprocate the gesture. “It’s not like I don’t know what we’ll be doing. _Nothing important,_ ” he huffs.

 

Shiro knows the irritation and impatience all too well. They’ve spent enough time discussing it already.

 

“Don’t even enable me, you know how it’s gonna go. Let’s not talk about it now. It’ll be over one day.”

 

That’s it, they’re going at it again. _Goddamnit_.

 

“And when’s that day gonna be, Shiro? It’s been so much time already. We’re all getting old and tired, don’t you see it? How much more can we withstand? The universe can go on without Voltron, but I can’t without you.”

 

The raw vulnerability with which Keith has always carried himself around Shiro strikes him as painful, especially now. It’s almost a reminder of something he once heard, but it’s been so long, he’s heard enough pep talks before battles to write three books’ worth of them.

 

This time, it’s not about defending the universe, it’s just the two of them. He can’t go on without Keith, either, losing him for the third time would be too much. They don’t deserve that kind of cruelty from the stars.

 

There are so many things he wants to say, _believe me, I love you more than anything_ , _I’d do anything to keep you happy but I just can’t, it’s a helpless situation and every possible outcome is bad, I’m so sorry, you deserve better than that._

 

“It’s gonna come. It has to.”

 

“We can’t keep saying this forever,” Keith sighs before turning to the side and pressing his back against Shiro. “It’s just not okay, you know?”

 

“I know, trust me, I know,” he replies and the truth that should set them free only makes everything ten times worse.

 

Trying to think it all through, searching for an answer that just isn’t there is too much. He needs to keep his thoughts away from this before he blows up at the team or Keith. Maybe some training would help keep him calm. He kisses Keith’s neck and, as peacefully as he can, tries to leave.

 

“Come back to bed, let’s just pretend that this is real,” Keith wraps his arms around Shiro and places a few little kisses on his back.

 

“It _is_ real, don’t even say it. It’s the last of the real things.”

 

“Not like that, not when I could lose you in seconds, not when nothing feels real anymore.”

 

 _This_ is why they really don’t talk about it. It just hurts too much. Isn’t it better to ignore the blatant fact that they’re in the middle of a war and trying to save the universe when the only thing keeping the fight worth it is a single person in their lives?

 

 _The universe can go on without Voltron now, but I can’t without you_. Doesn’t Shiro feel the same way? He’s been through hell and back, and the only constant thing in this shithole was Keith. _As many times as it takes_ , he remembers that one, and it’s still just as endearing and painful.

 

His heart is racing and it feels as if what he wants to say was a leap of faith.

 

“When we’re back on Earth,” he doesn’t say “home” because nothing feels like home except for _him_ , “I want to marry you. I’m never letting you go again.”

 

There’s a sharp intake of breath as if after all this time Keith still asked himself if he really meant something to Shiro, even when it was obvious he was _everything_.

 

“You…really mean that?”

 

It’s that tone again, the quiet disbelief, fear that it all might slip away with a single word. All Shiro wants to do is hold him and kiss him until he believes in every wonderful thing in the universe.

 

“Of course I do.”

***

It feels like Keith holds on to him just a bit tighter later, when the ship’s leaving soon and they should get going. Lance, Allura and Hunk are gone on a scouting mission somewhere not far away, Pidge is probably in her room, working on the map she’s been obsessed with for some time now, and they appreciate the vague sense of privacy.

 

“This isn’t goodbye.” Keith’s hand is in his, and it feels like it’s all going to be okay.

 

He almost cracks a smile at that. “This isn’t goodbye.”

 

Time is running out as they speak. Shiro can feel Keith’s heartbeat as they stand where they have countless times before, their bodies pressed together. Slowly, he leans in for a kiss, steals one, then another, pulls him even closer. Keith gasps quietly when Shiro gently nips at his bottom lip, wanting _more_ , eyes half-lidded, breathing heavily.

 

“This isn’t goodbye,” Keith repeats like a mantra, running his hand up Shiro’s back, accentuating every single words with a kiss. It’s like he’s drowning, and it’s only his lover’s breath that could let him survive.

 

“This isn’t goodbye,” Shiro whispers against his mouth like a prayer, and all he can see is those violet eyes; the vast sky of stars around them could disappear and he’d only wish to have _this_.

 

 _This, this_ , a thousand times _this_ , when in that moment they’re the only ones in the entire galaxy.

**Author's Note:**

> **comments and kudos keep writers motivated**


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